So you have been to the goal setting workshops, you have committed these items to paper, you have created action plans and you have actually moved forward in accomplishment…and yet somehow you just don’t seem to be reaching the goals that you have set. Sometimes it may even feel like there is a glass ceiling between here and there. As much as you can visualize what you want to achieve and as many times as you affirm or declare your intentions, again something is missing.
- Your goals and your belief system are not in alignment.
If your goals are not in alignment with what you believe, they will simply set you up for failure. If you set a goal to make a million dollars, and you believe that all rich people are unhappy, are snobs, etc., there is a good chance you will not reach your financial goal. Many times individuals are not even aware that that their own belief system is the subtle self-saboteur of their potential.
It’s great to set big goals, big goals that can cause you to stretch and grow. Yet sometimes, although we may vocalize and affirm those goals as many times as we want, our subconscious refuses to receive our attempt at reprogramming. Why? There is something more insidious than a direct conflict between our goals and our beliefs…and the solution can be as simple as the way we approach it. Think of it as putting too much on our belief plate, we bite off more than we can chew (a big goal) and theoretically choke in the process. It’s not that the goal conflicts with our belief system, but that our belief system is not in alignment with the way we are attempting to process it.
How this might look:
An individual wants to increase their income to $120,000 a year. They begin to affirm that they make $120,000 a year. They develop an action plan which they move toward implementing. Yet although they are making progress something just doesn’t seem quite right. In discussing it, we will break that down to $10,000 a month, $2,500 a week and $500 a day. Usually somewhere in that breakdown the person says, “That’s a lot!” Although their belief system was able to look at the $120,000 and agree that they had the potential to do that and make plans on how to get there. The holdup was somewhere in between. If the person is uncomfortable making $500 a day, day after day after day…the $120,000 will remain unobtainable.
Allow yourself to see the big goal as a destination. Whatever your limitation may be, sometimes our belief system just needs to be able to grow into it. Chunk it down into smaller bite sized pieces that can be successfully managed.
- You do not have a support system.
Making the changes necessary to move towards and accomplish big goals often moves us way outside our comfort zone. It is frequently a place of vulnerability, a place where we may question and second guess our choices. It is hard to be objective, and sometimes hard to make clear choices.
To create anything of lasting value, whether it is a building, a business, a work of art or a life requires a foundation with various structures of support.
Support systems can be composed of people, systems and tools. Although daily you will work on various aspects of “change”, a support system will remind you of the big picture so that you don’t get bogged down in the daily. A support system should have an element of continuous education and skill development in it to help you make course corrections and to keep you sharp. It must also include a component of accountability for objectivity and staying on task.
However of all the structures of support, most IMPORTANTLY, everyone needs a cheerleader. A cheerleader is someone who believes in you even when you don’t believe in yourself. A cheerleader is a person who encourages you to be the best you can be, is there waiting for you at the end of the race whether you are first, dead last, or somewhere in between.
- You beat yourself up because you have not arrived.
“I should be…”
“You should be what? You should be where?”
Most often we are our own worst enemies. We set ourselves up to lose by comparing ourselves against others, and failing to acknowledge what we “have” accomplished and focus instead on how much we still “lack”.
In moving towards any type of goal or objective, it is crucial to recognize that I am not where I was when I started and I am not where I will be tomorrow.
I can be content in where I am today. How long does a toddler get to learn how to walk? As long as it takes… Be content, recognizing my achievement, but not complacent!
- You are going so fast and hard in pursuit of your goal that you are NO longer effective.
The world we live in tends to reward faster as better. We are trying to get it all done and done now. “If I could just go faster…?” And so we try. However activity does not necessarily equal accomplishment. Being stressed and in haste, we make mistakes or overlook details that actually hinder our success.
Knowing how hard you can push yourself and when you need to pull back and take a break can actually increase effectiveness.
- You are exhausted…you wonder if it is all worth it…and you quit.
Achieving big goals often involves sacrifices. If you haven’t taken the time to establish your priorities: defining what they are and why they are important to you…as you work towards your goals, momentum can leave you barreling out of control. If you know why you are doing what you are doing, it is easier to maintain some sort of balance. The more balls you have in the air…the worse the fallout can be when they start to drop. Usually families and health are the first things to feel the time crunch.
STOP! BREATHE! Don’t make major or irreversible decisions like quitting when you are tired. There is great merit in “sleep on it.” Set yourself up to win…someone needs to.